My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
