dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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