Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
