I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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