Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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