My first STD was from a foam party
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I know her cup size but not her name....
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