i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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