I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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