ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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