i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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