Cold hands, warm shart.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
