do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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