It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
