We won't sleep together?
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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