He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
