Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
