Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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