It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
