I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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