um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
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that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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