I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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