Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
