I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I puked a lego.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
