When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
