I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
