Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
