No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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