i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
