And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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