You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
