Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sarcasm needs its own font
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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