Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize