I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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