i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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