i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
