he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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