What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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