ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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