Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
