Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
