I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I have demons in me.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Damn victory sex feels great
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
