I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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