I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
