You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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