We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
