we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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