Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
