i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
