Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
