I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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