I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I could make wine with my vomit
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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