Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
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I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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