perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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