her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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