im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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