I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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