I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
