6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
