Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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