ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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