what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
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I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
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Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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