Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
