Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
